The shape of the day

The HSE's structure is simple: "offer your child 3 meals and 2 to 3 healthy snacks each day. Use child-size portions and servings." The NHS puts a ceiling on the snacking — "2 healthy snacks a day is plenty" — because snacks that run into meals are one of the commonest reasons a toddler will not eat dinner.

For scale, the American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that "an average 2-year-old needs about 1,000 to 1,400 calories a day, based on their level of activity", and breaks the day into roughly 2 to 2.5 cups of dairy, 1 cup of fruit, 1 cup of vegetables and 1.5 to 2 ounces (about 40 to 55g) of protein.

What a portion actually is

The HSE publishes the most usable rule of thumb anywhere, because it scales to your child rather than to a packet. One serving of:

fruit and vegetables is "about half the size of the palm of your hand"
cooked pasta, rice, noodles or couscous is "about half a cup"
cheese is "about the size of your 2 thumbs"
cooked beef, lamb, pork, chicken, turkey or fish is "about a third the size of the palm of your hand"

Its serving counts by age: 3 to 4 servings a day of starchy carbohydrates for a 1 to 2-year-old, rising to 4 to 6 at 3 to 4; and 2 to 3 servings a day of fruit and vegetables at 1 to 2, rising to 4 to 5 at 3 to 4. An average fruit or vegetable serving is about 40g (1.5oz) — one plum, half an apple, three or four cooked carrot sticks, five or six grapes cut into quarters.

A day, roughly

The AAP publishes a sample menu for a two-year-old, which is useful mainly for showing how small the amounts are. Breakfast: half a cup of milk, half a cup of iron-fortified wholegrain cereal or a slice of toast, a third of a cup of fruit, one egg. Morning snack: four crackers with cheese or hummus, or half a cup of fruit, plus water. Lunch: half a cup of milk, half a sandwich, two or three carrot sticks or two tablespoons of another vegetable, half a cup of fruit. Afternoon snack: half a cup of milk or yoghurt, or fruit. Dinner: half a cup of milk or yoghurt, 2oz (about 55g) of fish, meat or beans, a third of a cup of pasta, rice or potato, and a third of a cup of vegetables.

That is genuinely all. If your child eats less than that on any given day, the NHS's advice is to look at the week rather than the meal.

Milk and dairy

From age 1, the NHS says "pasteurised whole or semi-skimmed cows' milk, or goats' or sheep's milk, can be given as a main drink". The target is "at least 350ml (12oz) of milk a day, or 2 servings of foods made from milk, such as cheese, yoghurt or fromage frais."

Three specifics people get wrong:

Full fat until 2. "Full-fat cheese, yoghurt and fromage frais are recommended up to the age of 2", because young children need the energy. From 2, lower-fat versions can be introduced gradually provided the child is eating well and growing.
Not skimmed under 5. "Skimmed or 1% fat milk doesn't contain enough fat, so isn't recommended as a main drink for children under 5." It can be used in cooking from age 1.
No rice drinks under 5. "Toddlers and young children under the age of 5 shouldn't have rice drinks because of the levels of arsenic they contain." Other unsweetened, calcium-fortified alternatives such as soya, almond and oat drinks can be given from age 1.

Soft mould-ripened cheeses such as brie, camembert and chevre, soft blue cheeses, and anything made from unpasteurised milk are off the list because of listeria — though the NHS notes they are fine cooked, since "listeria is killed by cooking".

Iron, protein and fish

The NHS calls iron "essential for your child's health" and warns that children who eat no meat or fish "are more likely to lack iron, which can lead to iron-deficiency anaemia. This can affect your child's physical and mental development."

Its targets: "a minimum of 2 portions of protein from vegetable sources (beans, chickpeas, lentils and tofu) or 1 portion from animal sources (meat, fish and eggs) each day", and "at least 1 portion of oily fish (such as mackerel, salmon and sardines) a week". Because oily fish can contain low levels of pollutants, boys should have no more than 4 portions a week and girls no more than 2.

The HSE adds a practical iron tip: offer porridge, wheat biscuits or flake cereals with added iron most days, checking the label for "at least 12mg of iron per 100g", and serve them with berries, because the vitamin C helps absorption.

One hard rule: "whole nuts, including peanuts, shouldn't be given to children under 5 in case they choke." Smooth nut butters are fine.

Fibre, sugar and salt

Wholegrains are good, but not exclusively for under-2s. The NHS: "it's not a good idea to only give wholegrain starchy foods to under-2s. Wholegrain foods can be high in fibre and they may fill your child up before they have taken in the calories and nutrients they need." From age 2 you can bring more in gradually. The HSE says the same, with an exception: if your child is prone to constipation, offer more wholemeal and wholegrain foods, plenty to drink, and a variety of fruit and vegetables.

On sugar, the NHS advises reducing sugary foods and drinks, offering them "with meals rather than as a snack", and avoiding them before bedtime. Fizzy drinks "should not be given to young children" because they damage tooth enamel. Fruit juice and smoothies are not needed under 12 months; if given, dilute one part juice to ten parts water and serve with a meal. Dried fruit including raisins should be given with meals rather than between them, because the sugar causes tooth decay.

On salt: "there's no need to add salt to your child's food. Most foods already contain enough salt", and too much "can give your child a taste for salty foods and contribute to high blood pressure in later life."

The vitamin drops most families miss

This is the single most actionable item on the page. The NHS: "the government recommends all children aged 6 months to 5 years are given vitamin supplements containing vitamins A, C and D every day."

The dose for vitamin D specifically is "10 micrograms" daily for children aged 1 to 4. Babies having more than 500ml (about a pint) of infant formula a day do not need them, because formula is already fortified. In the UK, free vitamin drops are available to families who qualify for Healthy Start, and a health visitor can advise where to get them.

Two cautions from the NHS: only give one supplement, since "having too much of some vitamins can be harmful", and do not combine drops with cod liver oil, which also contains vitamins A and D.

Mealtimes that work

The HSE's mealtime advice is largely about the environment rather than the food. Eat with your child when you can, because "if you eat a variety of healthy food, your child will be more likely to do the same." Go by their appetite when deciding how much to offer. Limit distractions — television, tablet and phone off. Give the drink at the end of the meal rather than the start, so it does not displace food. And keep snacks and drinks away from the run-up to meals.

When to raise it

The NHS's reassurance is conditional and the condition is growth: "if your child is active and gaining weight, and they seem well, then they're getting enough to eat." Speak to your health visitor, public health nurse or GP if your child is not gaining weight, is losing weight, is refusing entire food groups for weeks, has persistent constipation, or seems tired and pale in a way that might suggest low iron.

The two-to-two-and-a-half-year development review is a scheduled opportunity: the NHS lists "growth, healthy eating and keeping active" among the things it covers, alongside tooth brushing and going to the dentist. If food is a worry, that appointment is the place to say so.

Toddler Nutrition: What a Real Day Looks Like