Baby Hates the Car Seat

What must not change, however much they cry?

Everything else about the journey can change. These four things cannot.

• The harness stays snug. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says you should not be able to pinch any slack between your fingers when testing the straps over your baby's shoulders. Ireland's HSE gives the rear-facing check as only two fingers fitting between the top of the shoulders and the harness, without being able to turn them.
• Nothing under or behind your baby that did not come with the seat. The AAP says not to place padding under or behind your baby or use any insert "unless it came with the seat or was made by the manufacturer for use with that specific seat"; for a baby who slouches, it allows a tightly rolled receiving blanket along both sides. The HSE warns against head support straps across the forehead: "There is no evidence that these products are safe to use."
• Rear-facing stays rear-facing. The NHS says height-based seats must face backwards until your child is 15 months old or over, and to use a rear-facing seat for as long as your child fits it, "as these offer better protection in the event of a car accident". In the US the AAP advises rear-facing to the seat's highest weight or height limit, which most convertible seats allow for two years or more. See when babies can face forward.
• No bulky coats under the straps. The AAP says winter coats and snowsuits "can compress in a crash and leave the straps too loose"; dress your baby in thin layers and put a blanket over the buckled harness.

Why do babies cry in the car seat?

Mostly for the reasons they cry anywhere: the NHS lists the most common reasons for crying as hunger, a dirty or wet nappy, tiredness, wanting a cuddle, wind, being too hot or too cold, boredom and overstimulation. A rear-facing baby cannot see you or be picked up, and may be strapped in tired or hungry. The AAP also lists car sickness among the things to watch for. And heat matters: the NHS says to remove hats and extra clothing as soon as you get into a car, even if it wakes your baby, because overheating raises the risk of sudden infant death syndrome.

Reflux and feeds

The NHS says crying during feeds can sometimes be a symptom of reflux. Among first steps for reflux, the AAP suggests keeping your baby upright for the first half-hour or so after a feed. If the screaming is worst on journeys straight after feeding, try feeding earlier and setting off later. See reflux and posseting.

Why does my baby suddenly hate the car seat?

Check the fit first. The NHS says to choose a seat that is right for your child's current height and weight, and the AAP says the harness in a rear-facing seat should come from slots at or below your baby's shoulders, so check the straps have been readjusted as your baby has grown. Look too for a coat under the straps, a hot car, a new tooth or illness. An older baby who has started to mind being apart from you may simply object to facing away; our page on separation anxiety explains that stage.

How can I stop my baby crying in the car seat?

• Travel when your baby would sleep anyway. The AAP suggests early-morning trips or longer nap times for journeys of a few hours, and night driving for longer ones.
• Put an adult in the back. The AAP says it is always best to have an adult or responsible older child in the back with your baby.
• Use soft things only. The HSE suggests soft, bath-time books and soft toys, and warns that car toys should be soft and light, because in a crash a toy "could be launched at your child at the speed you were going".
• Try sound. The NHS suggests gentle background noise or music to help settle a crying baby.
• Stop, do not reach back. The HSE says to avoid distraction while driving and to pull over if your child gets out of their harness. The AAP says never to attempt to breastfeed in a moving car; see feeding in a car.

Get the fitting checked. In Ireland the HSE points to the Road Safety Authority's free Check it Fits service and says the RSA reports that 4 out of 5 child car seats are not fitted correctly. In the UK the NHS suggests your local council's road safety officer; in the US the AAP recommends a certified child passenger safety technician. UK law is covered in our UK car seat law guide.

How long can a baby stay in a car seat?

None of the bodies cited here sets a single maximum. The HSE advises a 15-minute break every 2 hours, putting your baby on their back for a short while, because sleeping in a sitting position can let the head fall forward and make breathing harder; check regularly that they are not slumped forward. The AAP suggests a break every 2 to 3 hours on a day trip and every 4 to 6 hours at night, and says the correct installation angle helps prevent a chin-to-chest position that blocks the airway.

The NHS says not to let your baby stay in a car seat for too long: it is fine for them to fall asleep in it while you travel, but take them out as soon as you arrive. See long car journeys and sleeping in a car seat. Never leave your baby alone in a parked car, even briefly; the HSE lists breathing problems on warm days among the risks.

When to speak to a health visitor or doctor

If your baby slumps forward, stop as soon as it is safe and reposition them. The NHS says crying you cannot console or distract, or a cry that does not sound like their normal cry, can be a sign of illness: contact your GP or NHS 111 if they seem unwell, such as having a high temperature or not being interested in feeding. Call 999 for the emergency signs the NHS lists, which include a fit; blue, grey, pale or blotchy skin, lips or tongue; being floppy or unresponsive; and difficulty breathing. For an older child who fights the straps, see toddler won't go in the car seat.

Frequently asked questions

Can I turn my baby forward-facing if they hate rear-facing?

No. The NHS says height-based seats must face backwards until at least 15 months, and to stay rear-facing as long as your child fits because it protects better in a crash. The AAP advises rear-facing to the seat's limit, often two years or more. Change the journey, not the direction of the seat.

Why does my baby scream in the car seat and the pram?

If both set off crying, look at what they share: lying back, being strapped in, and not being held. The NHS lists wanting a cuddle, tiredness, wind, heat and boredom as common reasons for crying. If it is worst after feeds with spitting up, ask your health visitor or GP about reflux.

How often should I stop on a long drive with a baby?

Ireland's HSE says to take a 15-minute break every 2 hours and to check your baby is not slumped forward. The AAP in the US suggests a break every 2 to 3 hours on a day trip and every 4 to 6 hours at night. Take your baby out of the seat at each stop.

Is it safe to loosen the straps if my baby is crying?

No. The AAP says a correctly fitted harness leaves no slack you can pinch at the shoulder, and warns that straps left too loose cannot properly restrain a child in a crash. The HSE's rear-facing check allows only two fingers that you cannot turn. Fix the cause of the crying, and stop if you need to comfort them.